By Megan @ jezebel.com Thu Jan 15 2009, 7,394 views
The American Life League has finally discovered the secret, immoral ingredient that makes Krispy Kreme doughnuts so very addictive: fetuses. And they are not happy.
Having been tipped off to Krispy Kreme's dastardly scheme to make their doughnuts even more addictive than abortion on demand by their insidious use of the word "choice" in a recent free promotion, American Life League president "Not Downtown" Judie Brown had this to say:
"The next time you stare down a conveyor belt of slow-moving, hot, sugary glazed donuts at your local Krispy Kreme, you just might be supporting President-elect Barack Obama's radical support for abortion on demand - including his sweeping promise to sign the Freedom of Choice Act as soon as he steps in the Oval Office, Jan. 20."
It's all part of their plan! More abortions means more Krispy Kremes, and more of this nation's souls will be eaten away along with their arteries!
In fact, Krispy Kreme is offering Americans "a free doughnut of choice" on Tuesday, signifying, obviously, that their doughnuts are made possible only through choice, which obviously only means abortion, which Barack Obama is going to make every man, woman and child in this country have when he takes the mantle of the Presidency in order to promote Krispy Kreme hegemony over Dunkin Donuts. Brown continues:
A misconstrued concept of 'choice' has killed over 50 million preborn children since Jan. 22, 1973. Does Krispy Kreme really want their free doughnuts to celebrate this 'freedom.'
Freedom isn't really free, people, it takes thousands and thousands of aborted, dried up and reconstituted fetuses to make a single box of Krispy Kremes, and the American Life League is determined to stop this abomination!
We challenge Krispy Kreme doughnuts to reaffirm their commitment to true freedom - to the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness - and to separate themselves and their doughnuts from our great American shame.
But how will they taste so delicious if they separate themselves from shame? Shame, and abortion, is what makes them so delicious!
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"But how will they taste so delicious if they separate themselves from shame?"
What a hilarious article!
1"Freedom isn't really free, people, it takes thousands and thousands of aborted, dried up and reconstituted fetuses to make a single box of Krispy Kremes, and the American Life League is determined to stop this abomination!"
Hilarious!!
2"Krispy Kreme is offering Americans "a free doughnut of choice" on Tuesday, signifying, obviously, that their doughnuts are made possible only through choice, which obviously only means abortion"
This article is GREAT!!!!
3huh? it was JULIE brown, downtown JULIE brown, not JUDIE brown. kids these days... man.
4YY!!! You're back!
5While these statements were made the American Life League made others: "Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so. The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that 'choice' is synonymous with abortion access and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand."
kastarte2--clearly the original was not meant to be funny. Unless, of course, you believe pro-life beliefs, espoused by a majority of this country, are funny.
bluesarahlou--sarcastic, but misses the point.
tiabia--the League DID NOT say "obviously" Taken out of context. The acknowledged that Krispy Kreme may not have had this position, but were responding if they did.
6"kastarte2--clearly the original was not meant to be funny. Unless, of course, you believe pro-life beliefs, espoused by a majority of this country, are funny."
Actually I find them to be quite hilarious.
Obviously the original was meant to be funny. Who actually believes that the Krispy Kreme franchise thrives on abortions? Are you serious?
7tiabia--the League DID NOT say "obviously" Taken out of context. The acknowledged that Krispy Kreme may not have had this position, but were responding if they did.
genenenne, you OBVIOUSLY have the sense of humor of VAPOR. And you OBVIOUSLY didn't read the article above since I copy and pasted that statement from the article.
8Yeah, gene, actually all of the comments you responded to, were copied and pasted right from the article. Not our original words. Perhaps you should be responding to the article instead of attacking us?
9That would be a start kas...
10I'm totally getting 5 dozen Krispy Kremes on election day.
11Make sure you get a variety of choices
12
13I'm probably going to get struck by lightening as soon as I say this...but I don't really like Krispy Kreme donuts.
14I'll do you one better Blue...I don't really like DONUTS...WINNA!!
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16I'll eat most donuts, but if you really want to weaken my knees give me a maple bar.
17I LOVE donuts so I'll take Blue's & Tia's. If it's got flour fat and sugar, I'm totally there.
18Hmmm....can vegetarians eat fetuses?
19Vegetarians can, but vegans can't.
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